pbfidler

Pressing Through Adversity

2010-11-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

Today has been a day of deep reflection and introspection. I have begun to back off from the job sites with FidScapes and entrust that to my much-more-than-capable wife and crew. I am so very blessed to be supported and surrounded by some of the most incredible and talented people on the planet. Hence the day of administration, course work in case management, reflection and introspection.

We all face deep adversity at times, none of us are exempt. And many times, perhaps most often, (at least in my life) the adversity is self-inflicted. Just over the past week I have made some decisions that I am not proud of at all. I cannot think of anything I have done to complicate my life yet today, but it is just now lunchtime. Yet so often I hear people say about others: “well they got themselves into that situation, they can get themselves out.” Really, can they? Really, could I? - if I did not have a wife, a family, a work crew, friends, people that believe in me, that know that my initial tendency is often times to just mess things up?

You see, we cast these sweeping judgments on people without knowing the whole story. Why write off the man in the woods by saying, “oh well, he put himself there by his own bad choices.” Yet we exonerate the local businessman who has been having an affair on his wife as just needing to get his needs met. Why?

What I have learned in my life is that the only reason I still have a chance from day to day to do anything positive with my life is not because of me at all but because of the other people that God has placed in my life. I still have a business because I have been blessed with a great support team. I still have a chance because of my family. I still have friends because they really believe in grace. I still have a wife because she sees beyond my insanity to my potential. But what if I/we did not have all of that? What if the businessman cheating on his wife, having the affair, and it being swept under the rug, did not have all that? Quite frankly his chances of also being in the woods would be much greater.

I would love to sit here and say that I press on because God gives me all of this supernatural strength and sometimes that is true, but really it is because God gives me strength through people who love me and support me even in spite of my foolishness. In many cases the people we look upon with such disdain are just one step away from pressing on but they need a hug, the need some love, they need more than a meal, they need a friend.

We must come to a point where we see ourselves as potentially the most downcast of society because in a sense that is who we are apart from the people that we are surrounded by. You may claim to be self-made but I highly doubt it. I would guess that even the self-proclaimed, self-made, hanger of the stars still makes bad choices and is assisted in “righting” those wrongs by people that love and care for their “self-made” selves.

We press on because we have hope! Do you know that if you have found yourself with no home, no family, no income, no food, no true friends, etc., etc., that it is hard to have hope? God forgive me that I ever feel hopeless when I am surrounded by hope. God forgive me that I see hope on display in almost every single facet of my life but I sometimes feel hopeless. That is why I am able to press on and I can never take a moment’s credit for that. What if none of that was there? Could I still press on in the face of adversity? Probably not!

Regardless of how messed up and flawed I tend to be or you may be, we need each other! I need you and you need me. We can never get through this life or this world without each other. We can only keep on pressing on because others have and we have seen it. We can only press on because we are loved and capable of love. We can only keep pressing on in adversity because God has shown us love through other people.

In the book of Proverbs there is a verse that at times has been the calling card for my life. In chapter 18 and verse 1 the writer says: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (esv). Yep, know that one well - all too well.

But the same author also wrote: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Eccl. 4:9-10)

Can I just tell you on behalf of myself and all of the rest of us who are deeply wounded at times in this world that we live in, we need each other! The only way we can ever expect to press on and to finish well is if I have you and you have me. This is not some cheesy Barney song but a radical truth that I know is true. So let’s all press on in adversity together and seek out those in our community that just need that pat on the back, that hug, that love that says “you can press on, because you matter and you are worth it.”

I know that I need you!

Coincidence??

2010-06-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

While considering our move to Sumter, there just seemed to be too many obstacles and unanswered questions. It just appeared to Kim and I both that it would be farther down the road than either of us hoped for. But as the week progressed things just began to happen that could never, in my heart or mind, just be chalked up as coincidence (which I personally do not believe in by the way).

Anyway, here are just a few of the "confirmations" that we are moving where God wants us and that even though we are so flawed as individuals, that He is 100% there for us and in it with us:

1. My Dad just point blank says to me "son I want you to move home so I can spend more time with you before I am gone." - I said, "ok, that is a sizable tug, but I am just not sure." I went to bed praying one night that God would some how speak to me about this. The next day I received an email from someone I knew in high school sharing her experience with me about her Dad's last 6 months and moving home to have spent it with him. Not saying Dad has 6 months, but the point remains.

2. I started looking at houses and it just was not going to work out for us financially, or so I thought. The one house I found that I loved the most was the last one I looked at. I was doubting, but when I called, the owner of the house OFFERED the exact same conditions I was going to ask for without me bringing it up. The only conditions that would have worked for us at this time.

3. Kim came home and we went to see the house and every room already matches all of the furniture, art, bedding, etc. that we have and they are fine with our pets (huge).

4. Kim and I go eat lunch at a last minute "random" spot in Sumter that we had not planned on and there we run into a friend who develops real estate and he asks "are you going to be doing landscaping here? I have a brand new subdivision I am developing and would like you to look at it." We have the job.

5. Kim and I are at a local store looking at plants for the entrances to the subdivision and I say to her, "I sure would love to have a nursery vendor connection down in Charleston for our plants." The next day a childhood friend sends me an email and in that email it says: "...we do have a fabulous commercial nursery here & I'd be glad to introduce you." He lives in Charleston.

6. We get back to Greensboro last night and sit down to eat and I asked the Lord to please give us some new business for FidScapes to help us in the move - that was last night - 20 minutes ago I was contacted by a brand new customer with a large job that needs to be done this weekend.

As I reflect on all of this I am truly amazed. I know I shouldn't be surprised because God has always been there for me. However, I hope I never lose the sense of awe that I have in my heart right now and turn my back on Him and return to being that selfish, self-centered fool I can often be. God is there! God is here! God is real and He truly causes all things..................

Birthday Prayer

2010-05-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

Father I thank You for another year of life. I thank You for waking me up and sustaining my life for another 365 days! I thank You that You have sought me far more often than I have sought after You. I thank You for the lessons that I have learned through the successes that You provided for me. I thank You for the failures in my life life and that Your sovereign grace turns those failures into lessons. I ask that You please show me how to learn from the poor choices and bad decisions and I plead with You to turn the hurts, pains, resentments, and bitterness of this past year into trophies of Your love, mercy and grace!

Thank You for those who remain faithful to me in my life despite my struggles, but most of all, thank You for being faithful to me and reminding me that no matter how much I may doubt myself, become depressed or discouraged that You promise that You love me with a steadfast and everlasting love. You tell me that You never leave me or forsake me and that is the greatest gift of all. Thank You that Your mercies are new every morning and that no matter how far I may have fallen that You have always been there to scoop me up and draw me back to Yourself.

Thank You that You know my heart and love me anyway! Thank You for a wife and family that demonstrate Your love to me in a way that I see it each and every day of my life. Thank You Lord that when I take You for granted, that You still love me with a love incomprehensible!

Thank You for the greatest gift of all in that while I was at my farthest point away from You and submersed in rebellion that You sought me out and called me to Yourself. Thank You, that even today, You are actively intentional about Your grace in my life! Please continue to pour that out on me in a way that my life, over this next year, is one that vaguely resembles the man I am today and all of it, for Your honor and for Your glory! Thank YOU!

One Thing!

2010-05-12T05:57:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks rank right up there with the most difficult times I have experienced as a person. I have seen my marriage falter, my spirit wrenched, my sin nature rise up from the ashes, friends turn against me, vision disintegrate, faith fall apart at the seams,and certain hopes appear to fly right out of the window. Much of it comes from outside of my own doing and influence, but I must admit that I have "lost it" when it comes to personal focus and attention to what truly sustains the soul and spirit.

I have never been one that is best at juggling multiple responsibilities and doing it well. I tend toward doing one thing at a time and striving to do that to the best of my ability. I wrote the book on spreading myself too thin and with the proper heart and motives allowing myself to get to a place where I am of no good to anyone at all because I want to do too much. I have been through this sooooooooo many times. It seems that I would have learned this lesson by now, but I continue to repeat this pattern in my life.

Several years ago I had a pastor who invested in me continuously and made a tremendous difference in my life. The one thing I will always remember about him the most was his emphasis on Psalm 27 as he worked with me and his emphasis on that one thing being the One Thing!

Psalm 27:4 states "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple" (esv). It is a singleness of purpose that paves the way for all other purposes in my life. If I cannot honestly say to the Lord "You are the One thing that I seek. You and You alone are the anchor of my soul and the purpose of my life. All I truly desire is You and You alone", then I am incapable of fulfilling any other purposes in my life, no matter how noble those purposes may be.

I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to see this after a couple of weeks and not months or years. I am still one of the most hardheaded participants in the human race, but maybe, just maybe, I learn some lessons a little quicker than I used to. I am so thankful that the entire house of cards does not have to come down on me before I realize that I am trying to do too much and that my primary focus in life is not doing, but being, and that pursuing the things of God is NOT the same as pursuing God Himself.

He is the One Thing that matters! He, in His person, is what the Psalmist seeks in this verse. Today, as I work, I pray that the ONLY thing I truly seek is to "gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple." No matter how I feel, what I think, or what my opinions about certain things may or may not be. No matter how much joy or pain or strength or weakness or happiness or depression I may feel, my ultimate responsibility is but One Thing and that is the pursuit of God Himself!

"The Unpaid Guardians of My Soul"

2010-05-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

Currently I am reading a book called "ReChurch - Healing Your Way Back to the People of God". It is a great book and one that I needed to read. I have been one to be very frustrated with the church and easily wounded by those within the church (as well as one to wound). There have been times that I just wanted to walk away but I knew that it was not an option. I have left churches because my feelings were hurt. I have avoided and walked away from people for the same reason(s).

The book is a healing journey into dealing with those wounds and hurts but written in a way that I have to take responsibility for my selfishness, inability to function with a thicker skin and also expecting far too much of those in leadership who also happen to be humans on that same struggling path as the rest of us.

This morning I came across a section of the book that tells of a great missionary statesman named E. Stanley Jones. He suffered a lot of criticism over the years for his unconventional ways of ministry in India. He was constantly under the scrutiny of others who felt as if his ways were improper.

The thing that stuck out to me was that he referred to his critics, even those who intended to be mean-spirited or to wound him as a person, as "the unpaid guardians of his soul". This really hit me. I want to defend myself, refuse the criticism and write people off. He took the insight of even his enemies and used that as an opportunity for self reflection that caused him tremendous peace and success. What an amazing sign of maturity and confidence in who God created him to be.

How many of us would be willing to receive what could be words of truth from someone who we know wants to harm us or slander us? How many of us believe that good can truly come out of a venomous spouting of a mouth full of hate? Stephen Mansfield says "It is a great art of living to be able to hear truth in the mouth of your enemies."

Speaking of E. Stanley Jones he says, "Think about what this means, what is required of Jones. He first had to consider the possibility that truth can come even from those who opposed him. He looked into the criticism, separated the jewels of wisdom from the dung hill of empty words, and then applied that wisdom carefully to his life. Obviously, Jones had made this a habit and felt so grateful for the good it had done him that he was able to call his critics 'guardians,' because they kept him from errors and excess, laziness and wrongheaded ideas."

Whether it comes from someone in a church or religious body, an enemy who hates us, or a loved one who has our best interest at heart, we have to let go of the pride and see that we are not always right! We must refuse the self consuming pride of "that's just tough, this is how I am and how I do it" and be open to the continuous change that needs to take place IN us even if the avenue for that change initially appears as insult and injury.

As the author concludes: "Though they shout their observations and probably intend them to wound you rather than help you, still they are giving you (me, us) insight that can help you (me, us) improve." Think about it!

The Miracle of Selflessness (sermon notes)

2010-04-29T05:27:00.000-07:00

The Miracle of Selflessness

My life as a born again believer in Jesus Christ has been anything but a continuous climb upwards. Like those who have gone before me, there have been tremendous highs and catastrophic lows. There have been times of great spiritual success and times that I wished I could turn my back on the faith because of discouragement and not being able to “get it”. I have learned many lessons along the journey, most of them the hard way.

However, there is one primary lesson that I have learned and that is the absolute necessity of being able to rid myself, as much as possible, of self seeking, self centeredness, and self pity. My buddy Mark loves to take Goody Powders when he feels physical pain in his body, what I have learned and hope to communicate tonight, is like the Goody Powder for the heart and mind of the Christian. It just works! It brings instant relief and it eradicates pain. The pain relief I am speaking of, I will call “the miracle of selflessness.”

I grew up rather spoiled. I was adopted as a kid and afforded all that a young man would desire. I had a great family growing up but being in private school for 12 years and being a part of a family that provided the way mine did, led me to having a spoiled brat mentality. As I was learning to deal with the adoption as a young boy I went through childhood sexual abuse and later into drug addiction. All of these situations in my life greatly contributed to a preoccupation with self that would almost kill me in my late twenties and early thirties.

This narcissistic way of life ranged from a selfish need to always try to fit in, to a self loathing and self pity, to the extreme selfishness of addiction. Though I grew up in the church and have been in the church my entire life, there was no real conversion in my heart until 1999 and when that happened, all of the self-related preoccupations came with me. It has taken the better part of the last 10 years to come to grips with the Goody Powder of faith that is the relinquishing of self.

Am I totally there? No, not even close. But I have experienced enough of the freedom that comes from the desire to make the choices to follow Jesus instead of my own selfishness. Jesus tells us in John chapter 8, verses 32 and 36 that “ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” and that “if the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” - so why such a lack of freedom in the life of the believer and in the church today? Because many times we profess our faith and trust in Him as Savior but sometimes we do not submit on a DAILY basis to Him as Lord!

In Luke 9:23 Jesus tells us that “any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow [Him].” The freedom comes in the absence of self.

THERE ARE 3 POINTS THAT I WANT TO MAKE CONCERNING ALL OF THIS:

…. TO ISAIAH CHAPTER 58 AND LETS LOOK AT WHAT THE LORD TELLS THE NATION OF ISRAEL:

· Freedom for the Believer (Is 58: 1-11)

1. Heart inclined to selfishness and self-centeredness.

2. Many times we may tend to practice spiritual discipline w/ selfish motives.

3. God’s “fast” is others-centered and focused on the oppressed and less fortunate.

4. God promises freedom to His people when they meet the needs of others.

…. TO PHILIPPIANS CHAPTER 2 AND SEE WHAT PAUL SAYS TO THE CHURCH AT PHILIPPI:

· Grace for the Brethren (Php. 2: 1-4)

1. Selflessness brings a fellowship that is in the Spirit of grace.

2. Leaders experience joy when followers are united and like-minded.

3. Selfish gain or vain glory prevents us from granted or receiving grace.

4. Because of grace, we are to always esteem or consider others greater than ourselves.

· Unity for the Body (Ps. 133:1, Eccl. 4:8-12)

1. God has designed the church to function as on Body, in unity.

2. Unity is like precious oil that brings an anointing and blessing.

3. Unity brings strength, safety in numbers and protection for the Body.

4. Unity in the Body unites us with Christ as our head.

Solution

2010-04-10T05:25:00.000-07:00

I subscribe to several blogs that relate to social issues within our society, most of which involve homelessness, poverty, the poor, and the ills of alcoholism and drug abuse (also not excluding mental illness). Unfortunately most of these, in many cases, are interconnected. Perhaps the greatest number of comments or posts that follow within the blog rolls include statements like "there has to BE a solution" or questions like "can anything really be done about this?" or "what is the solution?", etc.

It is a great thing to be concerned. It is wonderful to care. It is fantastic to ask questions about what the solution(s) might BE? But we have to get out of looking for and searching for A solution and we must BECOME the solution!

Each and everyone of us has the potential to BE the solution, not just sit back and care about or consider what needs to be done. We become what needs to be done and we just DO IT!

The movie "Blindside" is a perfect example. Any of us can do just that. Many of us have businesses both small and large that can not only hire people that have lost their way in this life, but we can be intentional about seeking these folks out and not just to offer them a job but to experience life with them in a way that both sides are changed forever. We go about our business each and every day having numerous opportunities to make a difference and we pass them by.

How many of us have extra food in the cupboard? How many an extra room in the house? How many of us have some extra furniture that we really do not need? How many the extra couple of hours a week to just sit and develop a relationship with someone who feels like they are a lost cause and that no one will ever truly love them?

It is estimated that there are 3,500,000 people in American that are homeless and that 20% of those have full or part-time jobs but cannot afford housing. It is estimated that the population of the United States is around 309,036,000. Now I am certainly no mathematician and I am reluctant to even include numbers, but for the sake of a comparative example, the difference there is about 305 million people. 3 million homeless (the vast majority due to poverty) and 309 million solutions (or younger, future, potential solutions).

Now, to get even more personal, for those of us that profess to be "born again" Christians....... It is estimated that 42% of the American public attends church WEEKLY. That is 129.7 million people. OK, there are 3 million homeless poor and almost 130 million weekly church-goers in the United States. Is it just me, or is there something TRAGICALLY wrong with that?

Please forgive me if my math is wrong, but this seems to indicate that only around 4% of those attending church weekly need to actually implement what the God of Judeo-Christian values and ethics says about these issues for there to be a tremendous drop in all of the aforementioned so-called "ills" of our society. To me, that is an absolute travesty!

If we, who call ourselves Bible-believing Christians, will do what our Bibles say and teach us, the world would be a radically different place. Millions of people who feel they will never be genuinely loved will truly experience the love of God in their lives. The marginalized of our society will know that they matter, have value and can begin to dream and pursue purpose in life again. People who have given up on themselves because of past sins can know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are forgiven and have a Savior.

Please, it is not enough to care. It is not enough to feel their pain. Please, it is not enough to sit in the comfort of middle/upper class society, enjoying a latte on the back deck (both of which I love) without being willing to share that same joy and pleasure with someone who has never known how great that can be.

Please, stop looking for or praying for a solution and BE the solution!

The End of Outreach.

2010-03-15T05:12:00.000-07:00

Call me an idealist, but I believe that we as the Church of Jesus Christ could completely do away with what we call "outreach" and perhaps end all para-church ministries, as well as many agencies that support the poor, homeless, etc., etc., etc. I am not against any of the before- mentioned, but would just like to make a few points as to why I believe this way.

I know that WE, as the Church, are called to DO outreach, but it seems to contribute to compartmentalizing our thinking into a subtle form of segregation. Outreach, by its very nature, classifies people into groups and labels them. I began to think much more on this starting a few weeks ago when I met with a local pastor. He basically said to me, "we don't do homeless outreach in our church." Of course my initial thought was, "WHAT? You have to be kidding me!" And then one of the most wonderful things I have ever heard came from his mouth: "WE DO all that we can to make the 'homeless' and poor in our community of faith feel so welcomed and a part of the family, that we don't differentiate in any way between them and anyone else."

Wow! Just think about that! What if we, as the Church, functioned in ways that the early church did? What if we did not have such segregation within the very Body of Christ? What is we truly took the Bible seriously and committed ourselves to passages like Acts 2 and Isaiah 58 which teach us that we should have all things in common, that no one among us should have want for anything, that we please God and He reveals Himself to us when we feed those who are hungry, clothe those who lack, and bring people into our homes?

While I am dreaming, what IF we literally followed Isaiah 58:7?

Just some thoughts to ponder. Yet, if 20% of the professing Christians in America would get out of themselves and DO what the Bible says to DO, we would have no need for shelters, para-church ministries for the poor and homeless, or government organizations to provide food, clothing and shelter, WE would just DO it because that is what God says to do. Could it really be just that simple?

Been a While.

2010-03-15T05:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been far too long. I was connecting the blog with the intersectnow.org web site and realized that I have been a blog slacker. As of today that will change! I look forward to blogging again and expressing what is on my heart these days. Please support!

A Brat and Yard Sale Theology

2009-07-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

I know that nothing at all in this life just comes randomly and without purpose. I also know that there is One who is behind, in and through all of the plans and purposes of creation as well as my little minute microcosm called life. However, I go about my day as if it is all random and that this One I profess faith in is somehow on Fourth of July vacation at the beach with everyone else I know.

Sitting over a bunch of yard sale stuff, desiring that sales would assist in funding a mission trip to NY, I just kick back expecting it to come, to all work out. I did not pray. I woke up at 6:00 totally grumpy. Really, I was up all night and arrived on the scene this morning with that same spoiled brat expectation that seems to run rampant in my life. Just now, 3.5 hours into this rather slow yard sale time, did I sort of mumble in my spirit: "Lord I need some help here."

I had just returned from McDonald's when a friend told me "the guy that just left, he didn't want anything, but said God placed it on his heart to give $5.00." Man I am a presumptuous spoiled brat to just come off all the time with such an attitude of entitlement that expects to receive blessings from God just because I woke up and showed up.

(as if turning my oxygen on another day is not enough)

Recently I told a counselor that I see: "I think all of my struggles in life and especially my relationship (or lack thereof) with God is because I am spoiled, I have a very unhealthy sense of entitlement, I learned over the years just how to get my way, and when I mess it all up the consequences are miniscule or non-existent. It is really a pretty lousy approach to life BUT at least I can see, as I did this morning, that God remains faithful in the $5.00 gift. That gift is an exact representation of grace.

My prayer as I jot these words is that somehow I would learn a lesson in this. Somehow, as a passage comes to mind at the moment, the truth of Eph. 4:7 - "But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift" would resonate deeply. Everything about grace is a gift, God is the Giver and the very best I can manage is to be spoiled and undeserving!

God help me to somehow be more responsive to You, more obedient to You, more faithful to You, not because I deserve it or am entitled to it, but because You are a wonderful Father who decided to give Your grace to me as a gift. Thank You for sending that $5.00 to make me see that You and You alone are the Giver and I can do nothing to earn your grace!

Chosen

2009-06-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. - John 15:16, ESV.

Jesus is our Immanuel because of the fact that He has chosen those of us that belong to Him. This passage must deflate spiritual pride in the believer. Not one single ounce of merit on our part allows us the privilege of resting in Jesus as a personal Immanuel.

If we have professed Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior it is NOT due to a decision that we made. We do not just raise a hand and decide, based on free will, to pray a prayer for eternal life. It is impossible for us, as a natural being, to consider or receive that which is spiritually eternal in nature (1 Cor. 2:14).

As fellow strugglers on a journey toward eternity, we can take no credit, but rest in the truth that those who come to Jesus are in fact chosen to be there. We can celebrate the fact that the very creator of the universe calls us to Himself and grants us the gift of faith that enables faith.

Take joy in this truth for it is all of grace. It is a divine gift that is granted to us so that we can not only be able to believe in Him unto salvation but bear His fruit that will not spoil and therefore ask of the Father that He might give to us freely in the name and person of Jesus.

He clearly tells us here that He chooses and places us in the world to bear fruit. He is the author, sustainer and finisher of faith and life.

Father, if I have in fact been chosen, thank you. If I am not sure, please reveal yourself and your heart to me that I might know for certain today. It is my desire to bear your good fruit in the world and know that I can ask anything of you in the name of Jesus.

Immanuel

2009-06-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

"Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel" (which means, God with us). - Matthew 1:23, ESV.

The book of Isaiah was written around 700 years before the birth of Christ. The passage in Matthew 1 is a repeating of the prophecy in Isaiah 7. The virgin birth and Jesus being the Messiah are foretold in Isaiah and recounted in the gospel of Matthew as the prophecy unfolds.

Certainly it is the most incredible of miracles that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was in fact impregnated by the Spirit of God (Matthew 1:20). Yet how much more miraculous it is for us as individuals that is 700 BC and again in around 50 AD, Jesus is named Immanuel, GOD WITH US!

Being one who has wrestled with addiction, adoption, sexual abuse, divorce, alcoholism and depression, it is fair to say that guilt and shame became a way of life. This pervading sense of not belonging plagued my early years and contributed greatly to my rebellion as a young man (which produces that much more guilt and shame).

But Jesus! I have learned to take claim of this portion of Matthew 1:23 to be extremely personal to me: Immanuel. As a matter of fact, the P.B. Fidler translation (not found in stores) reads "...they shall call His name Immanuel (which is translated GOD WITH ME!")

I can make it personal! This verse, this truth, can become specific and cause in me a great strength!

Lord Jesus please allow me to know You as MY personal Immanuel, GOD WITH ME!

cans, puzzles and dots.

2009-04-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Just how cliche' does it seem to have become in saying things like "God has a purpose for your life!"? Look at the sales of the "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Yes, we are created to have a craving for purpose in our lives or we become depressed, disillusioned and discouraged. But exactly what do we mean when we talk about purpose? I have a nice Cross brand pen with the inscription Jeremiah 29:11 written on it, does that mean I know purpose? Not!

This note is my last 5 days, a "journey" for purpose.

Currently things are not good for me and many others when it comes to vocation and personal economics. In this time of need and frustration I have been doing my best to not only improve my situation, but seek Godly counsel in the process. Though I do not always do as well as I should, I believe firmly that in times of stress or distress, we need to seek counsel and wisdom from those Godly sources that we know and trust. In the last 5 days God has used friends, a Biblical counselor, teaching pastor, His Word and a few teachings on CD to get my attention and very specifically communicate with me.

The first "issue" at hand is the CAN. I have been influenced quite a bit by some very well intentioned leaders who come from within their own personal experiences in life to impose the way their lives have worked out to be a very "canned" version of how they think other people's lives should look. (this is not referring to absolute issues of character, morality, etc.) Don't get me wrong there is tremendous power in the victory and success of one's life being shared with another, but NOT when we come with a "canned" approach to the way we seek to help others. Just because one person's victory came through a certain set of circumstances and situations, that cannot always be considered status quo! When we do not give adequate attention to the backgrounds, experiences, hurts, habits, hangups, tragedies, blessings, etc. that makes of the tapestry of a unique person, we can hurt them in the process of trying to help.

We are individuals, all created in the image of God, but with Him being the Artist, the diversity is beyond human comprehension. I have had to see that one man's path probably will not be mine and I also must be OK with that!

So, no more canned goods when dealing with people. But what we can identify are pieces of the puzzle and how they might begin to fit together so we can avoid so-called purpose that is perhaps scripted or "canned" and go from the good in life to God's very best! We all have them! Pieces of the puzzle can range from family background, to education, to church home. The pieces include life and death. They encompass all of the uniqueness of the path God has placed us on and we have to see and understand where and how the pieces begin to fit. Not in a general sense, but in a very specific fashion if we are to know the abounding joy of being exactly where He wants us to be, doing precisely what He created us to do!

One of my favorite verses to share with people from the Bible is Ephesians 2:10 (but one of the hardest for me to practice). "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." I focus in on the word "workmanship" . The word here in the original language of Greek is poiēma and it is literally "a work of art". Now God, creator of the incredible and amazing (both words that are not adequate) of the Universe we live in has also created us as a piece of beautiful art. Now, if I really knew that deep in my spirit as I should, my life would be always bubbling with never ending joy. But I lose sight of how incredible this really is.

I have a puzzle in my apartment that is framed. Two ladies from a dementia unit at a nursing home gave it to me almost 20 years ago, and I still keep it on my wall. It is beautiful. It is a red barn that sits in a springtime field full of white blossoms with snow capped mountains as the backdrop. Beautiful! But some human created that puzzle. God, Creator of all things we can ever see that demonstrate beauty, designed the puzzle that is my life and yours and He plans for that puzzle to be completed. Consider how proud I am of my framed puzzle, yet it is no trophy of grace that has come from depravity to a demonstration of God's grace, love, mercy and power. Through Christ, that is who and what we are!

So I am pondering this puzzle thing all weekend and how I need to take a deliberate and concerted look at my life and how it all fits together. As of Sunday morning I am still undecided where I will attend for Easter since I am away from my home church. I choose a particular church in Sumter not having any idea what the sermon might be and it is on "connecting the dots" of our lives in order to see God in the past, present, and future. The message was almost an exact replication of Thursday's conversation, except using dots and not puzzle pieces. "OK Lord I know I am hard headed but I am hearing you here!" JUST DO IT!

What I have decided to do is attempt to create a puzzle on my computer that has individual pieces that I can tag in a word or two that will directly associate with a time, situation, circumstance, new life, death, work and ministry, education, family (just examples, no "canned" approach!) and visually put it together to become not only a marker of God's sovereign hand in my life, but what I need to see this moment and where it appears His will would take me in the future. I am expecting a life changing week or so. I am giving myself until next Wednesday the 22nd to get it together. Care to join me?

Please, though so important to follow the wisdom and counsel of those before us and around us, but never allow anyone the opportunity to make their personal experience yours (or mine) to the point of losing self. This has been so liberating for me! I am NOT bound to what God has done, is doing and will do in the next person's life. His plan for Philip B. Fidler is 1,000 times more wonderful, specific and artistic than I would ever consider for myself! I feel that it is only by embracing this truth that I can begin to connect, very personally, the pieces of God's puzzle for my life that includes all the wonderful intricacies that make me who I am in Christ and who He created me to be!

We all have unique spiritual gifts, talents, natural abilities, experiences, and lives. I am not you and praise God you are not me. But WE are who WE are because HE is who HE is! WE are the intricate work of the Artist who created all!

like a sheep (or a bull)?

2009-04-13T18:01:00.000-07:00

There is a specific prophecy concerning the person of Jesus that has been continuously on my mind and heart lately. This beautiful nugget that encompasses so much of who the Lord is, can be found in Isaiah 53 and verse 7.

"He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth" (esv)

John Gill, the great theologian of the 18th century, wrote on this verse: " He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth."

If, we as Christians, are called to be Christ-like in our lives, how does a verse like this apply? There are perhaps many implications, but one in particular that relates to recent events in my personal live. Several weeks ago I was in a situation where I felt as if my back was against the wall. I had made some poor choices in a situation that was then discussed in a manner where I believed I was threatened. At the time I saw this discussion that took place as being underhanded and behind my back. I was wrong, but why not come to me? Why go to someone else about my poor choices.

I see it from a different perspective today and radical reconciliation and restoration has taken place. But what about the way I reacted? The mental image that comes to mind is the cliche of the bull in a china shop. Or perhaps like that of a rodeo bull. Yeah, lets take that analogy and run with it. It was like I had been placed within a chute, smacked on the rear end, and I began to snort, scrape my hooves and buck like a bull named Foo Man Chu. I was anything but Christ-like. Why, when I feel smacked, do I tend to immediately transform into a bull bent on the pursuit of self vindication? Get out of my way or else!

With Jesus as our example, He was being led off to the slaughter to be put to death for the "crimes" that you and I would commit. He was totally innocent, I cannot stake that claim. As Charles Spurgeon says, even our most righteous moments in this life are still stained and tainted with sin. Not so with Jesus, yet He did not become a bull, but a lamb! He did not buck, snort, stomp and rant, He humbly allowed himself to become a slaughtered sheep for you and I.

Man I tend to jump out there and shoot off at the mouth in defense of what I perceive to be a threat or if I feel my toes (or hooves) are being stepped on. If I truly take Christ as my example, a thousand things need to be changed in my life, but first of all I can be silent, allow God to be God, know that He can right all wrongs and that he does not need me to create more chaos and pain when the bull has been slapped on the backside!

Oh Lord help me to be rid of myself and willing to become more like You!

My Sin and the Vegas Strip

2009-03-13T05:07:00.001-07:00

My Sin and the Vegas Strip

My own sin seems to parade before my heart, mind and soul like the neon lights on the Vegas strip! There is so much about my life I find disgusting. Yet with the mercy and grace of God available, at least I do have a distant hope for the type of radical change that I desire. Unlike the Vegas strip that may continue flashing in all it's glory, perhaps the bright lights of the sin in my life will fade into the distant horizon.

The "modus operandi", to continue in this analogy would go: "well I just want to go down on the Vegas strip to see the lights, but will not allow myself to....." Then the lights begin to call. I am there. I am standing in front of the place I do not want to go and know is not well for my soul, but yet I gaze and linger long enough to say "well maybe I will just go into the lobby and not....." I walk in. I am fascinated. It started with a glance, then a stare, then a decision to just scope things out a bit. In no time at all, I find myself broken, disgusted, and riddled with the guilt and shame of making so-called innocent decisions that all along I knew would be wrong.

There is an enemy of my soul who knows exactly how to flash the lights in the perfect rhythm than can lure me, specifically appealing to sinful desire. He knows the cadence that rapes my mind. I try to turn away, but the rhythm continues. It escalates and pulsates in a way that just feels irresistible. He knows me and my tendency to "enjoy" from a distance without an intention of being burned. I linger one second too long, and its too late.

Last night I heard a man say that he hates the way we tend to "pet the snake" just a split second shy of thinking the venom is coming. We end up bitten. We take the neon far too lightly. The lights are designed to draw and lure, but I find a way to excuse this. I "pet the snake" with the idea that perhaps I can avoid the strike at the very last second. It is so often too late and the anti-venom may save my life, but does not remove the necrosis in my flesh, the scaring of the wound, and the discoloration of the tissue that remains visible forever.

The apostle Paul says in Romans 13:14 " But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires." Just don't go there. Stop it! Do not even look at the snake or think you might enjoy the lights. Easier said than done, but nonetheless the solution. Stop with the compromise that feels good for a moment but in the end leads to death. God help me to just stay away. Help me to avoid the Vegas strip and the fascination with the lights when I know what is behind and beyond them. I know what they represent and I know where they may lead. Just do not go there!

They may be beautiful, but also deadly!

25 Random...............

2009-01-26T09:26:00.000-08:00

25 Random...........

1. In recent years I have become a huge fan of sushi and absolutely love smoked eel.
2. A triple shot vanilla latte' is by far my favorite coffee drink.
3. My very first "car" was a Jeep.
4. I went to Clemson basketball camp 7 years in a row.
5. I have always wanted to be the teaching pastor in an inner-city church plant.
6. I am much more comfortable haning out w/ the homeless that most "normal" people.
7. People whose lives revolve around materialism and social status drive me nuts.
8. Orange is my favorite color.
9. I am at a point in my life that I struggle w/ being alone and desire a partner in life.
10. Studying the Bible has been a real passion for me in the past, but I've been slipping.
11. My faith, though wavering far to often, is so much my life!
12. Like my buddy Michele I do NOT see how people make it through life w/out Jesus. I cannot imagine my life w/out HIM.
13. Rachel and Aaron Shaw are two people that I respect so much in life and look up to greately!14. Emotional insecurity is something that I still struggle with more than I care to admit.
15. Though I don't always live it, I believe 100% that obedience to God's Word is the way of true life.
16. Two nights ago I dreamed I was hanging out with and singing with Jerry Garcia.
17. I love the islands and have been numerous times to the Bahamas and Virgin Islands.
18. Surfing is something I have always dreamed of and never accomplishd.
19. My mantra in life is: When my passion for my purpose outweighs my desire to make poor choices then LIFE happens!
20. When it comes to my personal theology I am very much a Calvinist and believe firmly in unconditional election.
21. My favorite musicians are U2, Willie Nelson, Chris Tomlin and the David Crowder Band.
22. Prayer is the one aspect of my Christin life that is the most lacking.
23. I just love football, live and breathe the Clemson Tigers!
24. I was adopted by the 2 greatest parents ever!
25. My Dad and my Brother are two of my heroes in lfe.

segment

2009-01-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Recently I have had the topic of not only segmented society, but a segmented church that keeps coming up. Of course this "issue" is also one that pops up in dealing with our individual selves and especially how we as people approach others. I think the real deal, the heart of the matter, with society, the church and ourselves is a "but they are not like me" or "thank God I am not like them" mentality. That type of mindset is toxic.

A recent example happened a few days ago when I was attending a meeting about the homeless situation in Greensboro and how the emergency shelters can help. I encountered some attitudes there that were not at all intentional, but still a reality. It reminded me that even those who do have a desire to help still have this separatist mentality and in volunteering want to help "those people."

Now, on a more personal level. I struggle with being accepted. Since my childhood I have been one to crave acceptance, validation, etc. and that opened me up to all sorts of peer pressure and terrible choices. It led to experimentaion with all kinds of unhealthy junk.

So what does all of this with society, the church and the individual have in common? The answer is in Acts chapter 10. I went for a nice run in the woods today and was praying as I ran. I just simply asked the Holy Spirit to do whatever He needed to do in my heart to make be a better listener to Him and to be able to listen more when I pray and not talk so much (as I tend to do most of the time). The prayer was answered and I was reminded very personally of the following verse: "The voice spoke to him a second time, 'Do not call anything impure that God has made clean."" (v. 15).

I needed to hear this as a "word" specifically for me because I do question myself and continue to fear rejection. Granted the primary context of this verse is God's "reversal" of Levitical dietary laws, but the Lord was also dealing with Peter on how He looked at other people. The Spirit used the verse to remind me that I am His, no matter what I may or may not do, or regardless of how I may "feel" about myself at times, that HE has made me clean. HE has made me pure and neither I nor anyone else is to question that.

The same appplies to the way I view, you view or we view members of our society or within our churches. It is God who makes us clean and the person I think may not measure up (or when I think I don't measure up) is just as clean and pure and righteous in God's sight as the so-called holy ones among us. The bottom line is that the cleanliness, purity and righteousness of Christ makes it all the way that it is and nothing else! IT IS WHAT IT IS, AND THAT IS BECAUSE OF JESUS! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU AND IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. IT IS ABOUT HIM!

Jesus Called and he Wants His Religion Back

2008-12-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

For many years I would say that I have had sort of a “thing” for stickers. Years ago I drove a little VW Fox that looked like the sticker selection at any given “dead head” shop. I mean there just had to be Jerry Garcia, a “steal your face”, Amnesty International, Rainforest Action Network décor on the back of the car. It was just cool! Well my fascination with stickers continues, but recently I have found myself paying close attention to the rear of other people’s cars. It appears that a person can basically be defined by the back of their car or bumper.

Perhaps the most expressive collection of such décor would be found on college campuses. I mean, that is just what we do at 20: Express Ourselves! I was particularly intrigued by one I have seen recently that proclaims boldly that “Jesus Called and He Wants His Religion Back.” Needless to say, this one could be written off as potentially offensive to those who claim faith in Jesus, but also extremely thought provocative as well. I choose thought provocative. I wonder what they mean by placing that on their bumper. I cannot read their mind, but it sure does make me think!

Certainly there could be all kinds of theological pursuits in explaining this one and much emphasis on the historicity of Jesus’ “religion” and the Jewish practices of His day. However, if I had to take a guess I would think that this individual who placed the sticker would be much more concerned with the heart of the matter. If asked they would say, “The church in America just does NOT get it.” Or maybe “Why are so many Christians and so many churches so focused within their own walls, building multi-million dollar structures and entertaining people rather than living out the heart of Christ in their own community?” I wonder the same thing!

As I regularly encounter the poor, homeless and less fortunate, it is no surprise why they do NOT want to talk about the Christian faith very much at all. Several days ago, I mentioned to a homeless man that I would pray for him and immediately you could just see him flinch as I mentioned this. My mind was curious as to whether or not he might have been thinking “Oh gosh, I knew there had to be strings attached to this guy helping me, now he wants to convert me.” I do not know this for sure, but I have seen enough skepticism by the poor that I could basically see it in his mind. This is tragic for a faith or for a “religion” associated with Jesus.

The issue at hand or heart of the matter is not always making converts or so-called “soul winning” (a term that really bugs me). The emphasis is people. The emphasis is love. The emphasis is care, concern and compassion. When members of our society and culture display such a statement on their vehicle, I would venture to assume that what they want to see from the community associated with Jesus is the heart of Jesus being displayed through people getting out of themselves and genuinely interested in the widow, orphan, poor and impoverished.

For what it is worth, I firmly believe that a vast majority of American churches and those individuals within her walls should participate in a conference call from Jesus stating that He “wants His religion back.” Think about it!

Life Lessons and Random Acts of Kindness

2008-12-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I absolutely hate it when I realize just how hard-headed I am and how difficult I make it on myself in learning lessons. Recently I had to come to another one of those places of complete and total frustration in order to return to a point of complete and total surrender. It was another one of those really hard lessons to learn because I, like so many people right now, have felt like I was "going under" so to speak. Times are just tough and I "felt" like I was sinking. And as a result of all my struggles, I have done the opposite of what a struggling man should do.

When someone is saving a potential drowning victim the most important thing for the one drowning is to cease fighting, give up, rest, relax. The potential victim can only be saved if he or she stops flailing and fighting and allows themselves to be helped. The struggling and striving gets them no where. Such is the spiritual life!

The amazing part is that God responds IMMEDIATELY at times. Granted He is sovereign and I cannot ultimately manipulate His timing. He so desires to show Himself in our lives that when we learn the lesson, he just responds right away. I had what I have called my Jonah experience lately and the culmination of that was this past weekend. Friday night through Sunday I was once and for all laying it all out for a showdown with the Lord over some recent frustrations, hurts and hang-ups, and guess who won? Yep, He did. And by Sunday afternoon I saw blessings and results from that "loss" in the grapple that turned out to be the greatest of wins.

Then He does what I needed most and what this "note" is truly all about. He put me in a lunch meeting with a husband and father of two small children that has been dealing with brain cancer for years and is STILL in the process of becoming an ordained pastor. He is an amazing friend and always helps me see things in perspective even though he never tries. Man how much he could just look at me and say "Bro do you really wanna know what struggling is, be going through your 11th round of chemo with an infant at home", but he never does. He doesn't have too, his persona does it all and he inspires me.

Then, after I leave the lunch I see a homeless man around the corner as I am going in to Barnes and Nobles for a bit. It is like 37 degrees outside and there sits this man without what I would consider to be warm clothing and he is drinking Listerine (has lots of alcohol in it). I am thinking to myself "I have to help this guy and at least buy him a cup of Starbucks coffee." Well I did and it opened up to a great time of conversation. This guy was living in the woods, with 20 degree nights and doesn't even have a sleeping bag. Please, I am not saying this to bring any type of attention to myself at all, I will make the main point eventually, but the guy now has all that he needs to stay warm if an arctic blast were to come.

SO, here is the point: We can and should allow God to teach us the lessons that He desires to teach us because such huge blessing will come from it, but even more because He will "show up" and use us in such humbling ways that His character is revealed through us. The homeless man kept saying "are you sure that you want to do this? It is just too much! It is just so kind!" All I could say in response is "God has done some incredible stuff in my life and gosh He puts up with a hard-headed kid like me and is so kind to me, so I want to be kind to you." I encourage everyone to do this with homeless or less fortunate people in your community.

I can remember a bumper sticker I used to see a lot that said "Practice Random Acts of Kindness" - Yes, lets do it! Because God is so gracious with us in our most stubborn times. Because He allows us to fuss, flail and fight until we have had enough and then ( because He is love) turns around and uses us for His glory in the life of a homeless man. I am so near-sighted that I rarely see the process that the past several days have been for me in the culmination of months of stubbornness, then finally surrendering (again) and then being so blessed by Him to be His vessel. If we see it, recognize it and submit to it, many poor people in our communities will have a much better Christmas and I can assure you 100% that NOTHING relieves the stress of the economy, financial worries, shopping lists, etc. like investing in the life of someone without a coat, a blanket or a home!

Fishes and Loaves

2008-10-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

We have heard the story from John 6:5-13 of the "fishes and loaves." What an amazing story it is and what a tremendous example of what Jesus can and will do with something small that perhaps no one really sees as being "enough" or capable of making a difference. Apparently Jesus sees things from a radically different perspective than perhaps most of us do when there are people in need. As Philip (appropriate) says to Jesus in this passage "six months wages would not be enough to feed all these people", so I guess it would be possible he may have thought that there just was not much use in trying (like I said, appropriate from a name basis and a heart that lacks faith at times, just like this Philip).

I love the fact that Jesus specifically asks him this pointed question, which of course was rhetorical, any question Jesus asks He already knows the answer to. The question is not to be informative for Jesus, but to allow Philip to have a bird's-eye view into the condition of his own heart and to reveal the doubt that was lingering within. Remember now, this was not Philip's first day of on the job training. Jesus had given him the "follow me" command back in John chapter 1. Philip had gone and told Nathaniel in John 1:45 "We have found him of whom Moses in the Law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph" (esv). Of course this being that great line in the Bible where Nathaniel shows the same heart that we often do when someone does not come from our "side of the tracks" or perhaps did not grow up in the mansion on the hilltop, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" (can you just envision the hand on the hip, smirk on the face, the "whatever" posture?) Philip's response today would have been "dude, check it out!" or maybe "Bro, you gotta see this!"

So what is my point? My point is that I have a vision and this passage speaks very directly to it. The sentence in this chapter that really jumped out at me was "Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost" (6:12, esv). Personally, I cannot think of any passage in the Scriptures that would speak more clearly to what WE are called to do within the society in which we live. I believe God is calling me to be the voice of the "fragments". I would not say that He is calling me to any great position of leadership or authority, though I would welcome the audience of someone like Bono on the issue of world poverty, not for attention but for the results of what a voice like Bono can accomplish. However, I do read my Bible and I know that my Bible tells of countless stories of guys (and girls) like me who are unheard of, have no celebrity or fame, are rough around the edges, have blown it tremendously at times and come from pasts that we (I) are not proud of but would not trade for the world.

In my heart right now I know that Jesus could have used anything He wanted to feed those people. Jesus could have created the world's largest sushi platter or thousands of medium rare rib-eyes with steak fries and sweet tea (extra lemon) right there on the spot. He could have snapped his fingers and brought Emeril into creation at that very instant in time to prepare the meal and spoken into existence a palace a thousand time more grand than any cathedral on earth for them to dine in. But he chose something like a few smoked Talapia perhaps (native to that area) and some baguettes from Panera Bread.

The "what" He chose is not as important to me as "who" He chose and "how" He chose to do it. He chose a doubting man named Philip, an obedient little boy (could we insert our name here) and in a way that even the fragments (or leftovers) were able to be gathered up so that nothing at all was lost. They had to think He was crazy for thinking so large. The boy had to just be standing there, like kids do, not understanding but willing to be vulnerable and trust. And the people had to have been amazed! The end result, as it always should be, is God getting the glory for sending His Son into the world to radically help these everyday people who at that time were unable to help themselves!

Please pray with me about "gathering up the leftovers that [no one] may be lost." With the faith of this little boy, no matter how small our contribution to the world may seem, lets just give it over to Jesus and watch Him do what only He can. I know that personally I am far too much like this biblical example of a Philip and the word "but" is far too often a part of my vocabulary. Please help me pray! According to SAMHSA (U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) one of every eight Americans has a significant problem with alcohol or drugs, with 40 percent of the group having a "dual diagnosis," or concurrent mental/nervous disorder." Fragments? I know from experience and exposure that there are millions and WE are the people Jesus is speaking to and saying "look at all these people, they are hungry, how will we feed them?" His question to us is rhetorical as well because He already knows the answer!

Philip

Crosses on the Roadside

2008-06-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I was traveling with a buddy of mine and happened to see one of those memorial spots on the roadside where a person lost their life. I am sure that you have seen them. Many places along the highway and interstate, there are crosses with pictures, flowers, sometimes even teddy bears and stuffed animals. It is so unfortunate that people do lose their lives so frequently in automobile accidents, but today this one spot made me question something.

Have you ever pondered why you don't ever see a Buddha, a mini- mosque, a totem pole, even some types of animals, or any other symbol that represents a world "religion"? Me neither! Today I really started thinking about this.

Perhaps everyone of these people that tragically lost their lives had family members who believed in and trusted Jesus, but I seriously doubt that. Could it be that the cross is just the universal sign of death? That is quite possible, but I think it goes much deeper. I strongly believe, and the Bible teaches, that everyone has an understanding at some level of who God is, because God has shown us all (see Romans 1:19-20).

Certainly, everyone, whether they admit it or not, has to at least want to believe in their hearts that there is a heaven and there is a God who desires something better for His creation. I would speculate that the crosses on the roadsides represent the fact that humanity has the truth before them and deep down inside, especially in light of a lost loved one, that there MUST be a hope that the cross represents. After all, IT IS a universal sign of death! But, it also represents to us that there is One who conquered death through the resurrection and that He lives to this very day, and will live throughout eternity!

Not everyone who places a cross on the roadside is a born-again believer! Yet deep within their souls, as they drive that cross into the ground, marking the spot of tragedy, their hearts cry out for a hope that there is in fact an afterlife and that Jesus is somehow involved in caring for the one who died.

I am not sure if I like the crosses on the roadside because it would be like having little gas chambers, or lethal injections all along the roads today. The cross was an instrument of death for the most heinous of criminals, but God himself became flesh so that we would not have to live eternally separated from Him! Though I may not really like it, I certainly understand it, because I would want to have a cross marking the site where my loved one passed on in tragedy.

Just think about it though; why the cross? Why not a little Buddha guy sitting there with his legs crossed so a passerby could stop and rub his belly? Why not some other marking that represents Islam, Hinduism, Taoism, Baha'i faith, etc.? Because none of them have the promise of a peaceful afterlife! None of them can make the claim of a risen Savior! None of them can hope for an eternity spent without pain, or tear, or any heartache at all! None of them can for a moment consider what it could be like to worship a matchless King throughout the ages yet to come! None of them!

So the cross on the roadside offers the family peace in a terrible time! Those little crosses on the roadside offer a representation of hope that there really is a God! A God who humbled himself to the point of death, even death on a cross; out of the purest humility and love possible and now gives life everlasting to those who will believe in Him with all of their hearts and trust Him for life!

Those crosses represent the tragedy that the loved one experienced, that the family experienced, that God himself experienced, and what we experience if we turn away from the One who gave himself for us! Yet they also offer hope, peace and the fact that all of us, deep within the soul, yearn for a relationship with the One who created us and desires to love us through eternity!

Crosses on the Roadside, give it some thought!

A Disciplined Soldier!!

2008-06-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well, once again I find myself being less than faithful in my posting, and wishing that I was a much more disciplined person. I can remember being in Basic Training (Army) at Fort Knox, Kentucky back in 1987. Man I excelled like mad! I went from the nobody private, to squad leader. I remember my Drill Instructor saying "you have been here over week and we still don't know who you are, that is a good thing, you are now a squad leader." I guess it was because I just did what was expected of me and did it to the best of my ability. It happened that way when I was in the very structured environment of Basic Training.

My first day out of Basic, many of us were in the Louisville, KY airport, awaiting a flight to San Antonio, Texas. Back in 1987, if you were a soldier in the US military, they would serve you alcohol regardless of a person's age. Need I go into detail? We were through with Basic, we were soldiers now, and headed to San Antonio. We got so drunk in Louisville that we were almost arrested when we arrived in San Antonio. Then the parties In "San Antone" just kept getting wilder and crazier by the minute, and it became quite commonplace to drink every night and show up for a.m. formation with a terrible hangover.

OK, how does this apply? Well, I find that I lack discipline in my life. When I am in a situation where I am working daily in a church, have men of God around me daily, serving continuously in some capacity, etc., I do so well! When I have that Basic Training mindset because of structure, I do so well and thrive in my relationship with the Lord and with people. But let me drift out of that and into the freedom of "self-discipline", oh boy, it is like a spiritual San Antonio that is hanging on by a thread and lacking the intense and radical discipline I must have as a soldier!

2 Timothy 2:3 tells me to "Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus." A good soldier is disciplined in all that he does! When I was in Basic Training I was an expert marksman, squad leader, and actually given the "Mad Dog" achievement award (which was my company's highest award); I was a good soldier! Then verse 4 of that same passage goes on to say "No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. "

Fort Sam Houston Texas was all about civilian pursuits and not pleasing those I was accountable to! I was living two lives! I was a soldier when I absolutely had to be and then a carnal beast when not on duty or off post. I was living a double life because I lacked that true self discipline that would have made me an even greater soldier and it ultimately led to me getting myself in trouble with the Military Police and almost getting kicked out several times!

Where are we today in our lives? What do the spiritual disciplines that make up a true RELATIONSHIP with God (the one who enlisted us).... what do these disciplines look like? Lack of spiritual discipline leads to lack of spiritual relationship. Lack of discipline only means a lack of obedience. Lack of obedience always leads to sinful behavior and that ALWAYS separates us from God. We do not worship the disciplines themselves, but the disciplines enable us to truly worship our Commander!

Please don't allow a lack of discipline and being "entangled in civilian pursuits" to cause you (or me) the type of struggles I had in the Army. I went from the most respected soldier in my company to the kid that was rendered almost useless as a soldier! There was nothing about me after a couple of years that would have distinguished me as even being a soldier; the exact same thing can happen in our spiritual lives! We are to be set apart as "Mad Dog" award winners! Am I truly distinguishable as "A good soldier?"

On That Day!

2008-05-14T11:51:00.001-07:00

Just this morning, I was typing up a "message" that the Lord placed upon my heart and I wanted to share (It got 'lost' in cyber-space, so here goes round 2). What the Lord did, as I sought His consolation in my life, was remind me of a passage of Scripture that I wrote on a few years ago. He very lovingly reminded me, that it was not something "new" that I needed from Him, but to return to Him and to something He has shown me before. I am probably the only one out there, striving to walk with Christ, that is very hard-headed at times, but none-the-less, I will share.

I entitled the writing "On that day" because these three words appear in the 35th verse of Mark 4. I have always been taught, and firmly believe, that every word in Scripture has importance and is there for a reason. During my quiet time several years ago, these words really struck me, and I had to determine the reason I thought they were included. As I mentioned the Lord took me back to that place this morning.

The events of "that day" were incredibly important in the ministry of Jesus, but I believe more important in the lives of the disciples and for us today. Jesus had the disciples with Him that day, He was teaching to the multitudes, He had been healing, He had declared that those who do His will were considered His "relatives" (Mark 3:31-35). He began to teach the multitudes in parables, and explain the purposes of these parables. We might say that Jesus was in His "zone", His ministry was flourishing and among all the multitudes, there was the twelve.

Again, this was a very monumental day in the ministry of Jesus! In Mark 4:10, something interesting happens: He takes the twelve and they retreat into privacy. It is here that He begins to reveal the great mysteries of the Kingdom of God to them. He would not allow Himself to everyone in this manner, but as they began to ask Him questions, He began to answer. His statement here is amazing "To you has been given the secret of the Kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that 'they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven'" (vv.11-12).

There are many implications within the text, but I want to stick to the fact that these guys, "On that day", were specifically chosen to have revealed to them "the secret of the Kingdom of God." Man, these guys had arrived! These guys, if they were in 21st century America, would have some big jets with "Secret of the Kingdom One" or "Raised From the Dead One" or something. They would be selling millions of books, sold out arenas, they may even have their own solid gold toilet seats. In the following verses, Jesus even goes into much greater detail, with amazing patience and explains so much to them. Surely they have arrived!

Well, I believe Jesus wanted us to very specifically see all of what went on and the incredibly amazing significance of what all He revealed to them "on that day", because evening was coming! The second half of Mark 4:35 says "when evening had come, he said to them, let us cross to the other side." And by verse 37 they were in the middle of a terrible storm! No need to worry right, these are the jet flying, TBN speaking, sold-out arena guys right? Nope! These are the "we just had the very secret of the Kingdom of God revealed to us and we are absolutely faithless and scared to death guys."

In verse 37, waves were "breaking into the boat", ever felt that way? I sure have! The irony of it all is that Jesus is sound asleep on a cushion in the stern of the boat. The guys start going nuts, full of fear they wake him up, perhaps not so gently, and said to Him, "Master, do you not care that we are perishing?" and Jesus just looks up and calms the storm. He looks at them and sees that they are full of fear and asks them "why?". Then they looked at one another and said "who then is this, that even the wind and sea obey Him?" Oh the doubt, ever been there? Man I sure have!

However, the beauty of it all is found in Mark 5:1: "They came to the other side of the sea." Jesus never left them. He did not throw them overboard for being idiots. He did not make them sit on the back row because of the sins of doubt, fear, and disbelief. It says "they came", they continued with Him in the plan and purpose that He had. He did not lead them off on a retreat to the Cove for a week-long seminar to regroup, He led them right into the face of a demon-possessed man!

So, I must recognize, that though I so often want to put the twelve on a holy-roller-apostle-only crowd, they blew it within hours of having the very mystery of the Kingdom of God revealed to them by God Himself. How often I find my own self having a refreshing time with the Lord, or some special revelation from Him that makes me "feel" so special and then by night fall I am fearful, faithless, and full of doubt. Well, I am in pretty good company. Jesus never gave up on them and man, I sure did need to be encouraged today, that He never gives up on me.

Often I joke that Jesus is in the business of turning chicken poop into chicken salad. I know that sounds a little rough and a bit redneck, but isn't it the truth! Jesus has always been attracted to and worked with the "rag-tag" bunch, so what makes me so special that He shouldn't want to put up with me too? No matter what the day may have brought, night may be coming! Or night could be passing by and a new dawn is on the horizon! Either way, He has chosen us to reveal great mysteries of the Kingdom of God and He will get us through to the other side!

Gospel According to David Crowder!

2008-05-05T15:01:00.000-07:00

The word "gospel" literally means "good news." I don't know about you, but I am a guy who ALWAYS prefers the good news over the bad. Keeping the ole' proverbial chin up can be enough of a struggle in today's society, without the good news of who Jesus is, I could not imagine life! There is so much search for meaning, what is considered to be happiness, and the overall purpose of life as we know it.

Perhaps my favorite Christian song ever written is "Wholly Yours" by the David Crowder Band. For some reason, throughout the day today, these lyrics have been heavy on my heart. This has been a favorite song for a couple of years now. It has been the ring tone on my phone, and a huge favorite to hear Crowder play live and also to hear in churches as well.

The lyrics that are ringing loud in my heart right now are:

I am full of earth, You are heaven’s worth, I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity. You are everything that is bright and clean, The antonym of me, You are divinity ... You are everything that is bright and clean, And You’re covering me with Your majesty. And the truest sign of grace was this: From wounded hands redemption fell down, Liberating man....

These are perhaps, not only the most comforting, but the truest (is that a word?) lyrics ever written! I take nothing away from the wonderful hymn-writers throughout history, but the words of David Crowder say it all. We were created from dust and physically will return to dust. God is absolute light....I think of 1 Peter 2:9 that reminds those who embrace the gospel, are not only made clean, but have been transformed from "darkness into His wonderful (or marvelous) light." What greater news could there be for mankind?

What God has done for us, and can do for many, is the greatest news a human could ever experience, but yet it is an offense to most. We want to make ourselves clean. We do not want to accept that we are in darkness, if not found "in Christ." We cannot do it on our own! We have to embrace the Scriptural truth, as David Crowder says, that we are but dirt, we are so prone to sin and depravity; yet a bright, clean and majestic God desires to change all of that.

I hope and pray that this is currently, or will become, great news to you as well. Some days I can only find hope in this truth, I could not imagine my life without it. And, the ultimate truth of it all, Jesus Christ, because of His great love for us...... by His "wounded hands, redemption fell down, liberating man..."

Soft on Sin...Contrary to Sound Doctrine!

2008-04-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

"....understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine...." (1 Tim. 1:9-10).

Recently I was having a very open, honest, and candid discussion with someone about sexuality, lust, and sexual sin. As humans, created to in fact be sexual beings, this is a matter that I would think 99.9% of us deal with. The issue we were discussing was the relationship between pre-marital sex, sin, and the idea that "God understands, He knows we are going to fall, and He always forgives us." That mindset would be described by my former pastor as "greasy grace".

The same pastor likes to say that "grace is for falling and NOT for jumping." This statement coincides perfectly with Romans 3:23 and the fact that YES, we ALL sin and we ALL fall short of the glory of God! But Romans 3:23 says more specifically that "all have sinned" (esv and nkjv). It is a past tense statement! The thoughts that were going through my mind were in dealing with the way of life, that does not come easily at all for me, and that is living out statements like we find in Ephesians 4.

Consider the following paragraph:
assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness (Eph 4:21-24).

or perhaps:
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Gal 5:16-21) [ouch]

Because I do not want to appear as a hypocrite, because I DO have sinful struggles in my own life and DO NOT walk in the Spirit and in obedience the way that I desire, I will close now with the end of the first verse mentioned: "....contrary to sound doctrine." Paul does not look at sin in the way the we tend toward at times, he says that the way we think and the things that we do are contrary to the very teachings of God through the Bible. Contrary means complete opposite!

Again, I do not profess to have conquered much in my life and as I have shared, I tend to be "Spiritually Bi-polar", but that does not change or excuse us from what God cleary states as sin and sin separates from God! Whether we live like it or not, it is still truth!

Rocky made me cry!

2008-03-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I decided to watch the most recent Rocky film entitled "Rocky Balboa". I cannot say that I have ever watch Rocky and actually been spiritually motivated or even more, spiritually healed in some way. I am not one who tends to put God in a box, I am pretty open to the notion that God can use anything that He so desires to speak to and reach people. However, I was not quite prepared for Him to use Rocky to bring me to tears and cause me to jump up and get in the Word.

When I hear the theme from Rocky, it takes me back to being a kid and coming home from seeing the movie, ready to train (for a day or two) to be the next Heavyweight Champion of the world. I might do push-ups or run for at least a day or two and then lose interest until the next movie comes out.

Rocky made a statement a couple of times in the movie that basically expressed "Yo...how you doin'....Yo....it don't matter how many times you get knocked down, what matters is how hard you can get hit and still keep movin' forward." I broke...God spoke to me through the Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa. From there He led me to Psalm 27, perhaps my second favorite chapter in the Bible (Romans 8 being # 1).

In Psalm 27, verse 4, David writes One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple (ESV). The key words and the connection to Rocky are the words: "One thing". The issue is focus and the absence of distraction! If there is any common thread in all of the Rocky movies that attracts us as humans, it is his heart. It is not only a heart, but a heart that is focused, without distraction, and has the incredible desire to continue fighting and never giving up!

In C.H. Spurgeon's commentary on the Psalms, the Treasury of David, he writes on God's vision of the individual heart, God judges us very much by the desire of our hearts. He who rides a lame horse is not blamed by his master for want of speed, if he makes all the haste he can, and would make more if he could; God takes the will for the deed with his children.

Forgive the Rocky parallel if it is a bit cheesy, but God would say a similar thing to us as Rocky said to his son, "you are going to get beat up and knocked down, but where is your heart? Have the heart of a champion that can take the big licks and keep moving forward! I have not given you a spirit of fear.... I am much more concerned with the where your heart is than anything else!"

Be encouraged, especially on Good Friday! Jesus died on the cross that dreadfully beautiful Friday two thousand years ago, but the heart of the ultimate champion prevailed as He rose not from a knockdown in the boxing ring, but from the dead and He is alive and well today, living to make intercession for us as He sees us being knocked down on the canvas! The knockdown that has happened in my life and perhaps yours is over and now Jesus is in our corner yelling "get up, get up, you can win this, you are a champion....you have the heart of a Champion....get up!"

No, not me! (long one)

2008-03-14T07:09:00.001-07:00

Thanks to a good friend, I have been encouraged to continue posting, though I just have not had the spiritual energy to do it. Life seems to be a constant barrage of beatings and battle scars and the worst part of it is that so many of the beatings and bruises are self inflicted. I told someone the other day that I cannot figure out for the life of me why I continue to do some of the same insanely ridiculous stuff and expect different results than before....yes, I know, that defines the word "insanity". I would not for a moment argue that fact!

However, through the church and God's Word, I still find glimpses of hope. Last night I was at Calvary Chapel Triad in Kernersville, NC. I have been in NC for just over a week, just spending some time here attempting to seek the Lord (without much success). At the Thursday night service, Pastor David teaches the Old Testament and was in 1Kings 7. At the beginning of the chapter it mentions that King Solomon spent 13 years on his "house", but spent 7 years on the House of God, the Temple. From a rather obscure verse, one that may not appear to have much significance today, he posed the question that many of us might tend to think "man I can't believe him, he is such a ....., he spent 7 years on God's Temple, but 13 on himself" and from there launch into a character assassination of Solomon, without even knowing that there were very legitimate reasons, or having any of the accurate details.

How often do we like to take things we don't even really know or understand about other people and turn it into an opportunity to beat them up verbally, and 99.9% of the time do it behind their backs? Without hearing it from the person, and based on pure assumption, we launch into some pathetic episode that really makes us the one with the issue! Be careful! Proverbs 6:19 clearly states that God hates discord being sown among brothers and sisters.

In addition, when we do this it is because we do not think we are capable of the same stuff. I was reading Mark 14 this morning and the Lord gave me a vivid reminder of a guy name Peter who thought the same thing. In the last days of Jesus' time with His disciples He expressed to them in verse 27 that "All of you will be made to stumble because of me." Basically, He is saying "all of you have pledged your faithful allegiance to me, but you will fall away, you will be faced with situations as my disciples that will be extremely difficult for you and YOU WILL BLOW IT."

Peter, who I adore, because I am his twin brother, makes the statement "Even if all are made to stumble, yet I will not be" (v. 29). Man oh man, how many times have I looked with spiritual pride upon another, esteemed myself to be better than (in my mind of course), said how glad I was that I have victory over that sin, and no way would I ever fall into that again. How many of us, though only in our minds think, "I could never be that bad, that guy weirds me out, I could never....." We could increase the list ad infinitum!

Yet verses later Peter blows it again because he can't stay awake when Jesus commanded him to "watch and pray". "Be alert Peter, stay in tune with what is happening around you, recognize the spiritual battle, and pray." "That sounds pretty cool to me Lord, I am a disciple, I mean I go to Sunday School and church every Sunday, they gave me a pin for my lapel, but I think I will just nap instead, I don't really need that watch and pray stuff." Then Jesus has to lovingly rebuke him and remind him that though his redeemed spirit is willing, it is attached to an unredeemed flesh that isn't!

I love Dr . John MacArthur's note on this verse: "Because willing spirits are still attached to unredeemed flesh, believers are not always able to practice the righteousness they desire to do." Thank you Dr. MacArthur for reminding us of that! Be careful! The next time we go off half-cocked and ready to assassinate another for what we see or perceive to see in their lives, we MUST know that we are capable of the same, if not worse. It has only made matters much more devastating in my own life when I built up this false sense of "I am different" or "I am just not like that or like them", whatever the case may be, and then I blow it in an even more disgusting manner.

Believe it or not, we are all capable! We are all just one bad decision away from being in a worse situation than the person we gossip about, the person we alienate, or the one we see as so much worse than we are!

empty words, empty promises, empty actions!

2008-02-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Well, as much as I hate to say it, the title of this post describes so much of what has been happening in my life lately. All of the empty words that spew forth from an internal need to be viewed by others as something that I am not. All of the empty promises like saying that I was going to post on a very regular basis here. Whether anybody actually reads the stuff or not, that is not the point, the point is what I said I would do, I did not do. And of course that all bleeds over into empty actions.

I am just going to be way too honest here, because after all, this is supposed to be a place for me to express myself in hopes of maybe helping someone else along the way. I am quite certain that I am not the only one who feels empty, with emptiness being expressed through the daily routines of life. Granted, I can contribute much of my struggles to the evil and sensual lusts of my flesh that pour over me like a tidal wave at times. Right now I do not have the fellowship and accountability in my life to deal with these thoughts (and some actions) quickly enough, so I let the waves continue to pour upon me as I just stand there about to drown. It sounds so silly! I should know better! After all, I have been groomed and trained for years to deal with this stuff in all of the right ways as a Bible-believing Christian. But I struggle!

Struggling has been so intense for me the past few weeks that I have felt paralyzed. I have felt so frustrated, alone, helpless, isolated and so on. But you know what the really insane thing is? Instead of reaching out and pouring myself more into my church or getting on the phone, I isolate myself and mentally entertain the sinful desires of my rotten flesh (my sinful nature that is literally at war with the Spirit of God within me). I would not even appear to be a Spirit-filled believer in Jesus to a casual observer who was watching me to see if anything about my life reflected Christ. The past few weeks I would have just looked like an average Joe who had never even heard all of the Romans 5 stuff I have been writing about!

The good news is that God's mercy is truly new each morning! Jeremiah "the Weeping Prophet" writes in the book of Lamentations "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, THEREFORE I HOPE IN HIM" (Lam. 3:22-24, nkjv).

Once again. like Paul with his thorn in the flesh, I have to be reminded how much God is really in control, how rotten I am apart from Him, and that the ONLY thing that could ever make a difference in my life would be from Him! Without that mercy mentioned above, I an consumed by His wrath. I do not have a hope in the world if it is not totally because of Him. For whatever reason, He puts up with knuckleheads like me. It is NOT because I deserve it, but only because He has sovereignly chosen to allow me to be a part of His creation, plans and purposes, even when I blow it. I don't get it, but thank God He does not treat me like I would treat myself!

Balance...More thoughts on Romans 5!

2008-01-31T06:55:00.000-08:00

The proper balance between the “feeling ugly” and the truth of “being righteous” is at times extremely elusive for me. I tend toward submersion within the ugliness, when in God’s sight I am found to be the very righteousness of Christ! The part of me that was once deserving of wrath is not a pretty sight at all, but then the flip-side is the beauty that is found through our identity IN CHRIST!

My desire is not to be fatalistic, self-pitying, or morbid, but to recognize my wretchedness apart from Christ for what it is. It is absolutely imperative that I see who I truly am apart from Him because the moment I start thinking I have got it "going on" or that I have one ounce of “self worth”, then I better look out. I have been through enough counseling and “recovery” meetings over the years to be inundated with “self worth” talk. The worth of Philip B. Fidler is far from “self” and only in Jesus! He is and must be the one and only source of worth!

So, when I mentioned before that I wanted to discuss ugliness, that I really do “feel” that way often (more often than I should), I do not want to throw it out there as something to be acceptable for the Christian as a way of life or mindset. My heart is to express that I struggle with living my life as one who has been adopted by the very Creator of the universe. I was adopted into my earthly family and very blessed in that regard, but what about my adoption to “son-ship” by the Father because Jesus satisfied the wrath that I deserve? That is what Romans 5 ends up being all about.

God’s wrath that my stench and ugliness deserved, is satisfied through the justification that ONLY comes through the substitution of Jesus by death on the cross. Christ died for us while we were still sinners (v. 8), we are now justified because of His blood that was shed (v. 9), we were enemies of God, but have been reconciled to God and saved (v. 10) and as verse 11 states, because of this we rejoice! I hope that you do a better job than I do at "lookin' saved". My redeemed spirit and new heart does not always tell my face, my actions or my attitude the good news!

How about we all make a much more concerted effort to conduct ourselves like we are who God says that we are! He are ugliness overcome by beauty! We are sin overcome by righteousness! If we have truly been converted, then we were once enemies that have now been completely reconciled!

Rick Burgess...Now He "Gets it"!

2008-01-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine emailed me the link to watch Rick Burgess basically preaching at his own son's funeral. Rick is an award winning radio show host who was at a youth event for 7,000 kids. He gets the call that his baby son has drowned in a pool accident, and preaches an amazing message at his own son's funeral.

In my last blog I made the statement that we have to "get it". Meaning that I have to grasp the gospel in a way that my life is so changed that people around me know that Jesus is involved in the situation! Rick made the statement that he knew people were going to be watching him and thinking "ok man, where is this God of yours now?" But already, in a matter of days, hundreds and thousands of people have not only heard the gospel of Jesus Christ, but they are seeing the power of it lived out in a man and his family!

One of my favorite verses in the New Testament is Romans 1:16, where the Apostle Paul writes, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes..." Rick Burgess is perhaps the greatest earthly example of that power that I have ever seen! He "gets it". He stands on the platform, looks at his other four kids and tells them not to waste their lives living by what the world may say or do, but that the only things that will ever truly matter are those things they do for the Kingdom of God and then he challenges them to be soldiers in the battle! Amazing!

So, what have you done for the advancing of God's Kingdom today? Rick states that 90% of "Christians" (and I put that in quotes because so many in this country claim to be something they are not), do not or have not shared the gospel with a lost and dieing world. God can allow a tragedy like this to reach hundreds of thousands of people, but He can also use us to reach a family member, friend or co-worker. What are you going to do?

Like I said in the last post, we need to get over the "well I am saved and going to heaven" mindset, we need to realize that God poured out His wrath on Jesus so that He would not have to pour it out on us. So that the Creator and Sustainer of all things could have a relationship with us, He became flesh and took on the sins of the world literally in His body, endured the most heinous punishment known to man and died, just to give us life! He was raised from the dead and sent His Spirit to empower us to do things like Rick Burgess is doing in the face of the death of his very own son.

Please, lets stop playing around with this and make a radical difference in the places that we live! Man, lets cut the @#&% and get fired up about Jesus! Rick says that the one thing we can do to honor his family in this tragedy is join him in exposing this as the dumbest thing Satan ever did and make him pay! Lets just do it!

"For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son..." (Romans 5:10). Can we all start living like people who were once enemies of God but are now made right with Him through the death of Jesus, can we just do that?

If you have not seen the Rick Burgess videos at YouTube, here is the link. Please watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PUHUZWyFeg - this is just the first one, there are three and they are all about 9 minutes long. Please watch them!!

But I just feel ugly!

2008-01-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

Paul makes a couple of awesome statements in Roman 5:6-8 that just refreshes the soul and breathes life into the spirit! I have been talking about the wrath of God and how Jesus satisfied wrath ON OUR BEHALF while on the cross, but Paul expands on that now and says that it was "while we were still weak" and "while we were still sinners." Then sums it up in verse 10 by saying that we were in fact enemies of God! How awesome is that!

Paul tells us all about what it means to be "counted" as the righteousness of Christ in chapter 4, then launches into faith, grace, hope, etc. in the beginning of 5 and then makes the big exclamation point by reminding us that it is ALL God! Verse 5 tells us that God has poured His very love into our hearts by His Holy Spirit and that He did it while we were at our weakest and most sinful! I did not have to clean my heart up before God would pour out His love into it, as a matter of fact, I am totally incapable of cleaning myself up at all!

There is so much here that I will camp out on Romans 5:6-10 for a while. I am seeing the incredible truth once again in verse 9 that we have been "saved by him from the wrath of God." I mean, I have to "get it". I have to let it sink into my hard head and heart that Jesus did not die on the cross for me just so I could go to heaven, so much more! He died on the cross for me to satisfy God's wrath and He did it when I was most wretched! I can take zero credit for that!

So that I don't get all crazy redundant here in this one blog, I am gonna camp on these verses until I feel like I have scratched the surface of doing them justice. I am going talk about how ugly I feel, how ugly I once was and how righteous Jesus is! Think about the word "wrath", that is what we deserve, and ONLY because of Jesus Christ are we not consummed by it! While we were the ugliest, the most beautiful of all beauties became ugliness on behalf of those "uglies" who believe! Amazing! Awesome! To be continued!

One Word!

2008-01-18T04:10:00.000-08:00

As I have been looking at Romans 4 in a relatively new light, I have also been digging into this doctrine of "penal substitution." In a more common way, I have to sum those two words up as "Jesus was literally, in His Body and during His death, the absolute and perfect substitution for sin, so that I do not have to receive or endure the wrath of God that is due me." We live in a culture that says "I deserve to have....", "i deserve....", quite frankly, the ONLY thing any of us deserve is to be consumed by the very wrath of God!

When we say "I am going to heaven because I believe Jesus died for my sins", what an awesome and beautiful statement that is! However, in my mind it changes things a bit when I see that the reason I can go to heaven and have a relationship with God right now, is because Jesus (when He died on the cross) satisfied the wrath of God on my behalf!

Now the reason that I titled today's blog "one word" is because I am now in Romans 5 and the word that stood out to me this morning was "with" in verse 1. From the ESV, it reads "Therefore, since we have been justified (made free, innocent or righteous) by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" (added parenthesis). Yes there are verses that speak of the peace of God, or peace from God, but ever so significant is this peace with God. The peace is the result of (Romans 4) being "counted as" righteous!

We enjoy the peace with God because we are free from the very wrath that we deserve! The greatest beauty of it all is that this freedom is offered to us not through works, not through donations or church attendance, but "by faith." We cannot earn it nor do we deserve it! It is all God! He not only made a way through the perfect sacrifice of Christ and His substitutionary death, but He gives us the faith to accept the offer of being free from His wrath!

Think about it a bit deeper than "Christ died for my sins so I can go to heaven", yes this is true, but really meditate on the fact that 1 Peter 2:24 says that Jesus Christ himself, sinless perfection, God in flesh, bore my sins and your sins IN HIS BODY as He was hanging on a cross. Take it one step deeper and savor that truth!

2008-01-17T03:35:00.000-08:00

Good Morning! Since I have started a new job and have not quite established the new routine, my time management is a bit off! So I do apologize! However, I did want to come quickly and share a devotion that I read yesterday that spoke so clearly to my situation and perhaps yours. This is from "Morning and Evening" by C.H. Spurgeon and really touched me yesterday...gosh do I underestimate just who God is and more so, who He desires to be in my life! My pastor was teaching last night and one of the passages he used was from Eph. 1 and he made the statement "live like a son!" A father helps his son! Please read and enjoy, I sure did!

January 16
Morning
"I will help thee, saith the Lord."
- Isa_41:14
This morning let us hear the Lord Jesus speak to each one of us: "I will help thee." "It is but a small thing for me, thy God, to help thee. Consider what I have done already. What! not help thee? Why, I bought thee with my blood. What! not help thee? I have died for thee; and if I have done the greater, will I not do the less? Help thee! It is the least thing I will ever do for thee; I have done more, and will do more. Before the world began I chose thee. I made the covenant for thee. I laid aside my glory and became a man for thee; I gave up my life for thee; and if I did all this, I will surely help thee now. In helping thee, I am giving thee what I have bought for thee already. If thou hadst need of a thousand times as much help, I would give it thee; thou requirest little compared with what I am ready to give. ‘Tis much for thee to need, but it is nothing for me to bestow. ‘Help thee?’ Fear not! If there were an ant at the door of thy granary asking for help, it would not ruin thee to give him a handful of thy wheat; and thou art nothing but a tiny insect at the door of my all-sufficiency. ‘I will help thee.’"

O my soul, is not this enough? Dost thou need more strength than the omnipotence of the United Trinity? Dost thou want more wisdom than exists in the Father, more love than displays itself in the Son, or more power than is manifest in the influences of the Spirit? Bring hither thine empty pitcher! Surely this well will fill it. Haste, gather up thy wants, and bring them here-thine emptiness, thy woes, thy needs. Behold, this river of God is full for thy supply; what canst thou desire beside? Go forth, my soul, in this thy might. The Eternal God is thine helper!

"Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismay’d!
I, I am thy God, and will still give thee aid."

Recommendation of a Book

2008-01-14T19:24:00.000-08:00

I want to recommend a great book! I am going to try and make time to come back and write a brief summary tomorrow of what I have read so far, but this book deserves the energy it takes to read it. It is called "Pierced for Our Trangressions, Rediscovering the Glory of Penal Substitution" by Steve Jeffrey, Michael Ovey, and Andrew Sach. It is written in the great tradition of Reformed Theology and has truly blown me away. I really needed to re-examine and get a fresh grasp on what Jesus did at the cross and how He literally bore my sins in His body while also very literally satisfying the wrath of God that I deserve! It is a deep book, but so worth the read!! Please invest in the study!

This book is important not only because it deals so competently with what lies at the heart of Christ's cross work, but because it responds effectively to a new generation of people who are not listening very carefully to what either Scripture or history says. One of the delightful features of this book is reflected in the subtitle: the authors make no apology for their thesis, but underscore the glory of penal substitution. This book deserves the widespread circulation achieved by corresponding contributions a generation ago - the contributions of Leon Morris, Jim Packer, and John Stott.
D. A. Carson, Research Professor of New Testament, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Deerfield, Illinois

"That is why his faith...."

2008-01-12T10:54:00.000-08:00

In closing out my time in chapter 4, there is a phrase that really caught my eye this morning. That phrase is found in verse 22 and states "That is why his faith was 'counted to him as righteousness.'" Then once again I had to go back and really look once more at what is the reason "why"? The reasons are the same that have been mentioned previously:

1. "He did not weaken in his faith" (v. 19)
2. "No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God" (v. 20)
3. "He grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God" (v. 20)
4. "Fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised" (v. 21)

"THAT IS WHY HIS FAITH WAS 'COUNTED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS.'"

There is one other verse that I must mention in closing this summary. In verse 17 (and 18 actually), God is referred to by Paul as "the God in whom [Abraham] believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist." And concerning Abraham, "In hope he believed against hope..."

That gives me great hope! This is the only type of God I could possibly believe in. I was certainly one who was spiritually dead and even now, at times, I feel much less than fully alive. I want to focus far too much on what I think may be impossible to happen in my life. For Abraham it was a basically a "dead" body at 100 years of age, his wife Sarah had a barren or dead womb, yet God was calling them to be the parents of "many nations." My response probably would have been "yeah right!" But not Abraham! He believed in this God who gives life even to "dead" bodies or barren wombs. This God who calls into existence things that do not exist!

Right now is a time in my life where I have trials and tests immediately in front of me and I must not weaken, have distrust, but grow strong, give glory to God, be fully convinced that this God of the living is able to do all that He has promised for me as His kid. Now is the time for me to see that this righteousness that has been counted or credited to me is real and able to be exhibited through radical belief, just like Abraham!

substitute!

2008-01-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

So what is the big deal behind all the talk of "belief" and why the need to be "counted...as righteousness"? I guess I am finally coming upon that stage where I know the desperation of my human condition and just how much I NEED atonement for my sin, a substitute, someone or something to satisfy the wrath of God that I deserve upon my life. Not in the aspect of salvation, but hopefully in the realm of growth.

I can only speak for me, but I am a very unrighteous person in my own strength. Left up to my own devices, I will self destruct in a heartbeat and I am fully aware of how I deserve the wrath of God UPON my life. I am fully aware of how wretched I can be, and how that ugliness can never approach the absolute holiness of God!

Paul ends chapter 3 of Romans making sure that we all understand that there is sin in all of our lives that separates us from God, that we all fall short of His glory, and that we all need justification that comes from a source other than ourselves. It is so awesome that Jesus was fully man and remains to be fully God. Sins were committed by man, sins had to be paid for by man. However, we all know that this man had to be holy and spotless, a sacrificial lamb that it without blemish. There is no other option when dealing with the atonement of sin.

So Paul makes the statement in Romans 4:2, again using Abraham as the example, that Abraham's good works cannot do it, because that would allow him (or us) to boast. We would want to take credit for something so far beyond our human, sinful capabilities. In the Old Testament book of Leviticus God laid out some very strict requirements that allow for potential fellowship with Him, that just cannot be kept! I will not get into all of that, but wanted to set the tone for how much we need, and have to have a sacrifice, our sin must be atoned for and we have to be "counted...as righteousness." It has to be done by Him, through Him, and for His glory!

In closing, I will dispel the post-modern myth that this was a "back then" scenario, and that it really doesn't apply to us today. If the post-modern thought is that truth is relative and that these type of passages don't apply to us today in an absolute manner, Paul tells us "But the words 'it was counted to him' were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord" (verses 23-24).

Like Abraham, we must believe God!

2008 - A YEAR OF PURPOSE!

2008-01-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

If there is any one thing that the Lord has shown me as I have almost closed out what I labeled six months of "lessons in depravity", it is the need for 2008 to be a year that I can look back and say "I lived my life ON PURPOSE!" Part of what He used to seal that deal in my heart was my study of Romans 4. I have been attempting to be disciplined enough to study verse-by-verse through Romans. Months ago I started in Matthew 1:1 and have been going through the NT, after being in Isaiah, Jeremiah and Lamentations for most of last year. Great to close and begin the year in Romans!!

Anyway, there are some verses there that really solidified "purpose" for me, the absolute necessity of it, and how it all starts with an understanding of what "belief" is. We have this idea in our Western evangelical church that "believing" in Jesus is the same thing as "thinking" about or "pondering" Jesus, or even just thinking about believing. It is so much more than that and true purpose for me cannot begin until I fully understand the biblical definition of "belief".

So, since this is the first day of blogs for me, I will keep this short and attempt to post daily on this topic. For now I will say that many of us, myself included have it all wrong about believing in Jesus, what that is all about, what it means and what it produces! Paul says in Romans 4:24 that the righteousness of Christ "will be counted to us who believe", but spends verses 16-23 defining the word "belief". When he takes Abraham as the example and makes statements like "he did not weaken in faith", "no distrust made him waver", "he grew strong in faith as he gave glory to God", etc. All of these appear to define belief and faith!

My heart will be to study these passages and communicate that here, hoping for your posts and comments as I do! This has been a major eye opener for me. I have read this portion of Scripture, studied it in school and now desire to see it take up residence in my life! Will be back tomorrow I hope to actually begin the study! philip

First Post!

2008-01-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

My heart is to have an avenue to express myself from a practically theological perspective. I am a thinker type and I really enjoy the deeper aspects of theology and theological study. However, I do not have the greatest track record for life application. For me, I feel like I need to express myself through writing in order to put some things on "paper" to look at my thoughts, my desires, my feelings, knowledge, etc. and how I can better live out a life sold-out to being a follower of Christ!

In these blogs I want to share verses, quotes, writings,.... stuff from my mind and heart, but mostly what I am seeing in the Word, how that applies for me on a daily basis, and in the process perhaps help someone else. I know those Christians out there who tend to look at those of us who have struggled in a way that is not pleasing to God. I readily admit that my sin, especially willful disobedience, is not pleasing to God. But I also avidly express that neither is the sin of those who look upon us with disdain and not care and compassion!

So here goes to launch of www.pbfidler.blogspot.com. I am excited about it. I just hope that I can make a difference in someone else's life by publicly working through my own stink! Please respond to me! Please help me make this an interactive forum. I have never done this before, so I don't even know how it works. Together we can explore and hopefully grow close to Jesus in the process! Thanks, and may the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ bring you grace and peace!!