Father I thank You for another year of life. I thank You for waking me up and sustaining my life for another 365 days! I thank You that You have sought me far more often than I have sought after You. I thank You for the lessons that I have learned through the successes that You provided for me. I thank You for the failures in my life life and that Your sovereign grace turns those failures into lessons. I ask that You please show me how to learn from the poor choices and bad decisions and I plead with You to turn the hurts, pains, resentments, and bitterness of this past year into trophies of Your love, mercy and grace!
Thank You for those who remain faithful to me in my life despite my struggles, but most of all, thank You for being faithful to me and reminding me that no matter how much I may doubt myself, become depressed or discouraged that You promise that You love me with a steadfast and everlasting love. You tell me that You never leave me or forsake me and that is the greatest gift of all. Thank You that Your mercies are new every morning and that no matter how far I may have fallen that You have always been there to scoop me up and draw me back to Yourself.
Thank You that You know my heart and love me anyway! Thank You for a wife and family that demonstrate Your love to me in a way that I see it each and every day of my life. Thank You Lord that when I take You for granted, that You still love me with a love incomprehensible!
Thank You for the greatest gift of all in that while I was at my farthest point away from You and submersed in rebellion that You sought me out and called me to Yourself. Thank You, that even today, You are actively intentional about Your grace in my life! Please continue to pour that out on me in a way that my life, over this next year, is one that vaguely resembles the man I am today and all of it, for Your honor and for Your glory! Thank YOU!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
One Thing!
The past two weeks rank right up there with the most difficult times I have experienced as a person. I have seen my marriage falter, my spirit wrenched, my sin nature rise up from the ashes, friends turn against me, vision disintegrate, faith fall apart at the seams,and certain hopes appear to fly right out of the window. Much of it comes from outside of my own doing and influence, but I must admit that I have "lost it" when it comes to personal focus and attention to what truly sustains the soul and spirit.
I have never been one that is best at juggling multiple responsibilities and doing it well. I tend toward doing one thing at a time and striving to do that to the best of my ability. I wrote the book on spreading myself too thin and with the proper heart and motives allowing myself to get to a place where I am of no good to anyone at all because I want to do too much. I have been through this sooooooooo many times. It seems that I would have learned this lesson by now, but I continue to repeat this pattern in my life.
Several years ago I had a pastor who invested in me continuously and made a tremendous difference in my life. The one thing I will always remember about him the most was his emphasis on Psalm 27 as he worked with me and his emphasis on that one thing being the One Thing!
Psalm 27:4 states "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple" (esv). It is a singleness of purpose that paves the way for all other purposes in my life. If I cannot honestly say to the Lord "You are the One thing that I seek. You and You alone are the anchor of my soul and the purpose of my life. All I truly desire is You and You alone", then I am incapable of fulfilling any other purposes in my life, no matter how noble those purposes may be.
I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to see this after a couple of weeks and not months or years. I am still one of the most hardheaded participants in the human race, but maybe, just maybe, I learn some lessons a little quicker than I used to. I am so thankful that the entire house of cards does not have to come down on me before I realize that I am trying to do too much and that my primary focus in life is not doing, but being, and that pursuing the things of God is NOT the same as pursuing God Himself.
He is the One Thing that matters! He, in His person, is what the Psalmist seeks in this verse. Today, as I work, I pray that the ONLY thing I truly seek is to "gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple." No matter how I feel, what I think, or what my opinions about certain things may or may not be. No matter how much joy or pain or strength or weakness or happiness or depression I may feel, my ultimate responsibility is but One Thing and that is the pursuit of God Himself!
I have never been one that is best at juggling multiple responsibilities and doing it well. I tend toward doing one thing at a time and striving to do that to the best of my ability. I wrote the book on spreading myself too thin and with the proper heart and motives allowing myself to get to a place where I am of no good to anyone at all because I want to do too much. I have been through this sooooooooo many times. It seems that I would have learned this lesson by now, but I continue to repeat this pattern in my life.
Several years ago I had a pastor who invested in me continuously and made a tremendous difference in my life. The one thing I will always remember about him the most was his emphasis on Psalm 27 as he worked with me and his emphasis on that one thing being the One Thing!
Psalm 27:4 states "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple" (esv). It is a singleness of purpose that paves the way for all other purposes in my life. If I cannot honestly say to the Lord "You are the One thing that I seek. You and You alone are the anchor of my soul and the purpose of my life. All I truly desire is You and You alone", then I am incapable of fulfilling any other purposes in my life, no matter how noble those purposes may be.
I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to see this after a couple of weeks and not months or years. I am still one of the most hardheaded participants in the human race, but maybe, just maybe, I learn some lessons a little quicker than I used to. I am so thankful that the entire house of cards does not have to come down on me before I realize that I am trying to do too much and that my primary focus in life is not doing, but being, and that pursuing the things of God is NOT the same as pursuing God Himself.
He is the One Thing that matters! He, in His person, is what the Psalmist seeks in this verse. Today, as I work, I pray that the ONLY thing I truly seek is to "gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple." No matter how I feel, what I think, or what my opinions about certain things may or may not be. No matter how much joy or pain or strength or weakness or happiness or depression I may feel, my ultimate responsibility is but One Thing and that is the pursuit of God Himself!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
"The Unpaid Guardians of My Soul"
Currently I am reading a book called "ReChurch - Healing Your Way Back to the People of God". It is a great book and one that I needed to read. I have been one to be very frustrated with the church and easily wounded by those within the church (as well as one to wound). There have been times that I just wanted to walk away but I knew that it was not an option. I have left churches because my feelings were hurt. I have avoided and walked away from people for the same reason(s).
The book is a healing journey into dealing with those wounds and hurts but written in a way that I have to take responsibility for my selfishness, inability to function with a thicker skin and also expecting far too much of those in leadership who also happen to be humans on that same struggling path as the rest of us.
This morning I came across a section of the book that tells of a great missionary statesman named E. Stanley Jones. He suffered a lot of criticism over the years for his unconventional ways of ministry in India. He was constantly under the scrutiny of others who felt as if his ways were improper.
The thing that stuck out to me was that he referred to his critics, even those who intended to be mean-spirited or to wound him as a person, as "the unpaid guardians of his soul". This really hit me. I want to defend myself, refuse the criticism and write people off. He took the insight of even his enemies and used that as an opportunity for self reflection that caused him tremendous peace and success. What an amazing sign of maturity and confidence in who God created him to be.
How many of us would be willing to receive what could be words of truth from someone who we know wants to harm us or slander us? How many of us believe that good can truly come out of a venomous spouting of a mouth full of hate? Stephen Mansfield says "It is a great art of living to be able to hear truth in the mouth of your enemies."
Speaking of E. Stanley Jones he says, "Think about what this means, what is required of Jones. He first had to consider the possibility that truth can come even from those who opposed him. He looked into the criticism, separated the jewels of wisdom from the dung hill of empty words, and then applied that wisdom carefully to his life. Obviously, Jones had made this a habit and felt so grateful for the good it had done him that he was able to call his critics 'guardians,' because they kept him from errors and excess, laziness and wrongheaded ideas."
Whether it comes from someone in a church or religious body, an enemy who hates us, or a loved one who has our best interest at heart, we have to let go of the pride and see that we are not always right! We must refuse the self consuming pride of "that's just tough, this is how I am and how I do it" and be open to the continuous change that needs to take place IN us even if the avenue for that change initially appears as insult and injury.
As the author concludes: "Though they shout their observations and probably intend them to wound you rather than help you, still they are giving you (me, us) insight that can help you (me, us) improve." Think about it!
The book is a healing journey into dealing with those wounds and hurts but written in a way that I have to take responsibility for my selfishness, inability to function with a thicker skin and also expecting far too much of those in leadership who also happen to be humans on that same struggling path as the rest of us.
This morning I came across a section of the book that tells of a great missionary statesman named E. Stanley Jones. He suffered a lot of criticism over the years for his unconventional ways of ministry in India. He was constantly under the scrutiny of others who felt as if his ways were improper.
The thing that stuck out to me was that he referred to his critics, even those who intended to be mean-spirited or to wound him as a person, as "the unpaid guardians of his soul". This really hit me. I want to defend myself, refuse the criticism and write people off. He took the insight of even his enemies and used that as an opportunity for self reflection that caused him tremendous peace and success. What an amazing sign of maturity and confidence in who God created him to be.
How many of us would be willing to receive what could be words of truth from someone who we know wants to harm us or slander us? How many of us believe that good can truly come out of a venomous spouting of a mouth full of hate? Stephen Mansfield says "It is a great art of living to be able to hear truth in the mouth of your enemies."
Speaking of E. Stanley Jones he says, "Think about what this means, what is required of Jones. He first had to consider the possibility that truth can come even from those who opposed him. He looked into the criticism, separated the jewels of wisdom from the dung hill of empty words, and then applied that wisdom carefully to his life. Obviously, Jones had made this a habit and felt so grateful for the good it had done him that he was able to call his critics 'guardians,' because they kept him from errors and excess, laziness and wrongheaded ideas."
Whether it comes from someone in a church or religious body, an enemy who hates us, or a loved one who has our best interest at heart, we have to let go of the pride and see that we are not always right! We must refuse the self consuming pride of "that's just tough, this is how I am and how I do it" and be open to the continuous change that needs to take place IN us even if the avenue for that change initially appears as insult and injury.
As the author concludes: "Though they shout their observations and probably intend them to wound you rather than help you, still they are giving you (me, us) insight that can help you (me, us) improve." Think about it!
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